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I am a woman of worth....

This blog has been inspired by a few things: Being reminded of my worth, in a world where we are so often expected to look a certain way, wear certain clothes, behave in a specific manner is certainly not easy to accomplish. But I was reminded again today that I am special and unique in my own way, in fact each and every one of us are.


I was feeling quite low and demotivated after my return from my recent trip, so I booked a session with one of my mentor/accountability partners, and if you are wondering - Yes! coaches/mentors who to the outside world, seem to have it all together also, need direction. After going through a series of carefully curated questions what became glaringly evident was I have so many special gifts that essentially make ME.


Throughout the session my mentor drew several references to the fact that I had lots of innate talent and skill that maybe I was not recognising or even acknowledging as such and probably had become lost in the process of seeking external validation.


It served as a reminder of the following quote;

"If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” ~Unknown


So many of us are often looking for things to somehow feel "accepted". The immense pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect can end up being completely unproductive, and granted even if there are accomplishments along the way it may still not be enough to make you feel "worthy"... I have certainly learnt the hard way that when we connect our worth with anything outside of ourselves, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.


The real breakthrough for me was when I eventually understood and embraced that my worthiness is an entity separate from my appearance, relationship status, and success and

it is because I am worthy that I'm actually able to accomplish and enjoy such wonderful things. And when we truly believe we're worthy, we actually bring more of our innate light into the world. Its then that we tend to attract a similar light too.


So, the burning question is how exactly does one develop a deep sense of self-worth?


That is the question and the challenge.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you’re looking to deepen your self-worth. The following list is certainly not exhaustive or by no means a fixed formula, but it might just get you thinking about how you too can get in touch with your own worthiness.


Acknowledge when you are seeking external validation.

It’s so common to seek validation from others, so I wouldn’t ever expect you eradicate that habit completely, after all you're human! That said, it’s important to at least acknowledge when you’re seeking it. “I’m looking for people to validate me so I feel worthy” might sound like a strange thing to say aloud, but you can’t address a problem until you acknowledge it even exists.


Then, think about why external validation is so important to you.

Sometimes, when I find myself yearning for more Instagram likes or a quick compliment from one of my friends, I have to stop myself and think. At the end of the day, there's certainly nothing wrong with wanting people to appreciate what I do, or for me to be told I look good, but if my entire well-being is hinged on either of those things, I’m probably in for some level of disappointment. The fact is whether we like or accept it, other people just weren’t created to make us feel good about ourselves; that’s our own issue that we need to work on.


Usually, when we’re seeking external validation, there’s an underlying fear. Getting in touch with those fears is important because then we can determine whether our fears are reality or just fears. Most of the time, they’re just fears, and we shouldn’t give them more power than they deserve.


Practice self-love by caring, comforting, and soothing yourself.

Often, when we’re longing for validation, it’s because we’re in need of some kind of attention. In my opinion, caring, comforting, and soothing ourselves, particularly during hard times, needs to become a more common practice. A lot of the time we can give ourselves the attention we’re seeking, I believe we just have to get used to doing so.

To be clear, I am in no way suggesting that individuals can replace the role of community in their own lives; we still need loved ones to share life with us. But when we really value something, we treat it well. And you deserve to be at the top of the list of things you value, especially if you haven’t been for a significant period of time. In other words, treat yourself like you know you’re worth it and one day, you just might believe it.


Willingness to believe you are worthy.

You might not have a whole lot of self-worth today, but that doesn’t mean you never will. So, while you’re doing the work of deepening your self-worth, believe that you are capable of doing so too. Otherwise, what’s the point?


Be committed to the journey.

Deepening your sense of self-worth is no easy feat. It is, indeed, a journey. And because of all the tumultuous feelings this journey might invoke, it’s wise to commit to it prior to taking the first step. Humans make significant decisions every day that require displays of commitment (i.e.: getting married, buying a house, moving abroad).


In fact, I’d say deepening your self-worth is one of the most significant commitments any person can make.


Do you?


Grasping the connection between my self-worth and the way I treat myself was life-changing for me. If you’re struggling to believe in your own worthiness, I strongly suggest that you embark on your own journey towards doing so. That journey just might change your life too.


Besides, you’re absolutely worth it.



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1 Comment


🙏🏻🙏🏻


So true and how beautifully researched and written. Leaning into, and learning from our lived experiences is an incredible strength.


Thank you for sharing and being your magnificent true self


🙏🏻🙏🏻

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