5 Tips on How to Build your Self Confidence Today

There are very few people who could call themselves perfect and be right. Most of us need to build aspects of our self-confidence each and every day, but the vast majority of us just choose to ignore the issues or only concentrate on the negatives in life such as stress, worry, jobs, money problems and relationship issues. Choosing to focus only on these areas simply drains our self-confidence rather than improving it. Imagine, if you could improve your self-confidence, you could make more money, look and feel better physically, or just be more relaxed with and around other people. Below there are five simple techniques that have been proven to help build self-confidence.

I know suggestions of talking to yourself may sound a tad crazy but trust me it works. It's no secret that all of us have a running monologue constantly in our heads, whether we realise it or not. Everything we see, hear, or touch sparks off an immediate dialogue in our thoughts. For those of us who lack confidence this monologue can often be filled with negative directives, many of which are further escalated by the mass media television, radio, newspapers, or even just overhearing what other people say.

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt totally consumed by such negative thoughts, you literally felt like all your energy was sucked from your mind and body? I know I certainly have! Did you know this can consciously block the flow of positive messages coming through?

It is absolutely imperative that we find ways to receive positive messages, as that is what ultimately contributes to building your self-confidence. Why not choose to raise your self-esteem. Take control. Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

1. Use positive affirmations

Saying them on a daily basis is key, one example I use is "I love myself; I love myself; I love myself". I aim to repeat it for a couple of minutes. I know it may sound silly, but it really does help to help build your self-confidence. Try it! go to the mirror right now and repeat out loud "I love myself!" 20 times, I assure you, it will be impossible to stop yourself from smiling.

2. Dress for the occasion

Always dress as smartly you can. It's a proven fact you cannot feel your best if you don't look your best. You will be amazed at just how much more confidence you will have just by ensuring you always look and feel your absolute best. This can certainly be done by wearing clothes that make you feel good. Wearing your "Sunday best" is definitely a thing of the past, it really doesn't matter what day of the week it is, it's all about boosting your confidence right here and now and not just at the weekends. Go on put on your favourite clothes, do your hair! and remember "Every day is showtime!" 3. Possess the attitude of gratitude

One great way to ensure you increase your self-esteem, even more, is by giving thanks for, where you are in life, who you are, how you look, and what you are doing. Make it common practise to say "thank you" to yourself, and for everything you see, all whom you meet, and each smile that you receive. Being thankful for everything is so important. 4. Good posture

Stand or sit correctly: How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you. This results in improving how you feel about yourself and will build your self-confidence not just for today but every day. There is actually scientific evidence that shows how posture can affect our mood. Do not slouch. Slouching produces a down mood. By slouching you are telling the world and yourself it doesn't matter, you don't matter. Standing tall and upright will actually lift your mood. Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud.

5. Show that beautiful smile

Smile. Just smile, trust me things seem better somehow. Practice smiling regularly and get your facial muscles used to the physical act of smiling. When you next look in the mirror or as you walk by a store front smile at yourself. Not a grimace, but a proper smile.

Let me know how you get on! I'd love to see some selfies.

4 Steps to Building Your Self-Confidence

Accept yourself The first step in building self-confidence is to accept yourself unconditionally. Remember you are human; therefore, you are not perfect, it's important not to dwell on what you consider as flaws. Each and every one of us possess qualities that someone else does not. By accepting yourself exactly as you are, will definitely help to get rid of any unnecessary stress and worry over things that you simply cannot control.

Do what you want! When was the last did something that you really liked, maybe something that you enjoyed doing in your younger days? How long has it been since you went out with a friend? These simple things have the power to help build your self-confidence whilst adding fulfilment to your life. Life can be quite simple. It is so easy to get caught up in the rat race of today's world and lose yourself in the process. Also, it is incredibly easy to forget your purpose, and what you enjoy doing. It happens the best of us. You have a responsibility to yourself to get back to those simple things in life.

Find a group of friends You've heard the saying; your vibe attracts your tribe. It so important to find people whom you enjoy spending time and doing things with. You will find that life is lot easier when you are among the people who share your interests and your feelings. There is an unspoken understanding between you, as well as an open dialogue. Good conversation and friendship are healthy and important for our minds and souls.

Set goals and just do it! Take one step at a time. Those single steps will develop into a giant stride over time. Try not overwhelming yourself, simply do the task at hand. Set yourself achievable goals and go for them! Don't put your focus on the big picture, concentrate on the smaller steps. This is the only way to accomplish anything, and to avoid procrastination and depression. Remember even the smallest of achievements will give you such a sense of accomplishment that will boost your self-confidence.

I am a woman of worth....

This blog has been inspired by a few things: Being reminded of my worth, in a world where we are so often expected to look a certain way, wear certain clothes, behave in a specific manner is certainly not easy to accomplish. But I was reminded again today that I am special and unique in my own way, in fact each and every one of us are.

I was feeling quite low and demotivated after my return from my recent trip, so I booked a session with one of my mentor/accountability partners, and if you are wondering - Yes! coaches/mentors who to the outside world, seem to have it all together also, need direction. After going through a series of carefully curated questions what became glaringly evident was I have so many special gifts that essentially make ME.

Throughout the session my mentor drew several references to the fact that I had lots of innate talent and skill that maybe I was not recognising or even acknowledging as such and probably had become lost in the process of seeking external validation.

It served as a reminder of the following quote;

"If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” ~Unknown

So many of us are often looking for things to somehow feel "accepted". The immense pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect can end up being completely unproductive, and granted even if there are accomplishments along the way it may still not be enough to make you feel "worthy"... I have certainly learnt the hard way that when we connect our worth with anything outside of ourselves, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

The real breakthrough for me was when I eventually understood and embraced that my worthiness is an entity separate from my appearance, relationship status, and success and

it is because I am worthy that I'm actually able to accomplish and enjoy such wonderful things. And when we truly believe we're worthy, we actually bring more of our innate light into the world. Its then that we tend to attract a similar light too.

So, the burning question is how exactly does one develop a deep sense of self-worth?

That is the question and the challenge.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you’re looking to deepen your self-worth. The following list is certainly not exhaustive or by no means a fixed formula, but it might just get you thinking about how you too can get in touch with your own worthiness.

Acknowledge when you are seeking external validation.

It’s so common to seek validation from others, so I wouldn’t ever expect you eradicate that habit completely, after all you're human! That said, it’s important to at least acknowledge when you’re seeking it. “I’m looking for people to validate me so I feel worthy” might sound like a strange thing to say aloud, but you can’t address a problem until you acknowledge it even exists.

Then, think about why external validation is so important to you.

Sometimes, when I find myself yearning for more Instagram likes or a quick compliment from one of my friends, I have to stop myself and think. At the end of the day, there's certainly nothing wrong with wanting people to appreciate what I do, or for me to be told I look good, but if my entire well-being is hinged on either of those things, I’m probably in for some level of disappointment. The fact is whether we like or accept it, other people just weren’t created to make us feel good about ourselves; that’s our own issue that we need to work on.

Usually, when we’re seeking external validation, there’s an underlying fear. Getting in touch with those fears is important because then we can determine whether our fears are reality or just fears. Most of the time, they’re just fears, and we shouldn’t give them more power than they deserve.

Practice self-love by caring, comforting, and soothing yourself.

Often, when we’re longing for validation, it’s because we’re in need of some kind of attention. In my opinion, caring, comforting, and soothing ourselves, particularly during hard times, needs to become a more common practice. A lot of the time we can give ourselves the attention we’re seeking, I believe we just have to get used to doing so.

To be clear, I am in no way suggesting that individuals can replace the role of community in their own lives; we still need loved ones to share life with us. But when we really value something, we treat it well. And you deserve to be at the top of the list of things you value, especially if you haven’t been for a significant period of time. In other words, treat yourself like you know you’re worth it and one day, you just might believe it.

Willingness to believe you are worthy.

You might not have a whole lot of self-worth today, but that doesn’t mean you never will. So, while you’re doing the work of deepening your self-worth, believe that you are capable of doing so too. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Be committed to the journey.

Deepening your sense of self-worth is no easy feat. It is, indeed, a journey. And because of all the tumultuous feelings this journey might invoke, it’s wise to commit to it prior to taking the first step. Humans make significant decisions every day that require displays of commitment (i.e.: getting married, buying a house, moving abroad).

In fact, I’d say deepening your self-worth is one of the most significant commitments any person can make.

Do you?

Grasping the connection between my self-worth and the way I treat myself was life-changing for me. If you’re struggling to believe in your own worthiness, I strongly suggest that you embark on your own journey towards doing so. That journey just might change your life too.

Besides, you’re absolutely worth it.